It feels great to be writing a blog again. I have genuinely missed it and it wasn’t until I gave up my little Retro-On-Sea shop last December that I realised just how much I wanted it back.
If anything, by giving it up, it showed me just how much it meant to me. Not only this, but how good it was for me too.
I had told myself that it was too small to continue, we are in the middle of a pandemic, it’s time to hang up my coat and write a book!
I have appreciated each and every customer and the support you have given to me along the way. You are the ones that said you would miss the shop and the ones that said how pleased you were when it was back. Thank you one and all for your kind words.
Many of you know from previous posts that I have suffered for quite a few years from a form of anxiety and panic. It certainly wasn’t something I saw coming and it knocked me completely sideways. My little shop had kept me going and had kept me in touch with ‘people’. Just communicating and talking, even if I didn’t feel like it. The real me loves buying and selling as well as finding a sense of community with my customers. Finding items that I love myself and think other people will enjoy as well.
My anxiety has caused me to worry so much more than I really need to. Most of the time I realise that I don’t really need to worry at all. Normally after the event!
Over the past couple of weeks I have had to come to terms with the fact that there are two sides to every situation in life... the good and the bad. There will always be that flip side to the coin, but it is how we cope or deal with it that matters most of all. Whether we are experiencing the good or the bad. Not everything is negative in life!
So hence the title.
Feel with your feet.
I have found it hard to feel with my feet over the last few weeks. I have to take some medication that helps with my anxiety but causes my ankles to swell. Not pleasant if you know how it feels. I lament how I can‘t fit in to my lovely shoes and have to buy ones for comfort rather than style! Yet the plus side is that if I take my shoes off and walk on grass after the rain, it feels wonderful. Look for those moments.
Listen with your ears.
A couple of weeks ago I had to turn around and say ‘no’ to something that I would have loved to have done, but I knew deep down I couldn’t do due to my anxiety. Which bye the way is improving, but at a slow pace. Saying ‘no’ can really hurt someone. Just explain in your kindest and best possible way that you have their best interest in life, but you also have your own to look after. Over the past few years I have said ‘yes’ to things too many times and had to bail out at the last minute, or do what ever it is and felt terrible. I have finally realised that I need to listen with my ears to my own voice and if that is ‘Ros, no, not this time., then that is what it must be. Learning to say ‘no’ when we need to is a difficult thing to do, but long term it will help us. No beating ourselves up for hurting people or adding to our own anxiety on a daily basis. I do believe that eventually the ‘yes’ will come more naturally.
Look With Your Eyes.
You can so easily look at other people and think, wow, they are doing so well in life! How did they manage that? You see the negatives about your past and wish you could change this and that. In all honesty I think many of us do ourselves down ... that negative chatter that goes on inside us. Hey Ros, you failed at this, you were no good at that. We have no idea how people see us. I had a lovely friend come to my doorstep the other day. We hadn’t seen each other for a while and as the conversation progressed I felt grateful that the panic I used to feel when chatting no longer had a hold on me. I told her she was looking great and how well she was doing with her work. Unexpectedly she turned to me and said ‘Ros, you are so talented, you need to use your talents’. This was a totally unexpected compliment. I felt like saying to myself ‘no way ... not me’, but instead I took it on board and have held on to it. Sometimes it is ok to say..you can do it! Time to start looking at yourself and believing rather than doubting.
Know In Your Heart.
Meditation has helped me on my wellness journey. It does me so good to sit by the pond or at my kitchen table and be still. To get things in perspective and find that quiet place. To know in my heart that I must go with the flow of life and let those everyday worries, fears, ‘what ifs’ just melt away. If anyone reading this post is suffering in any way from mental health issues, just never, never give up. Surround yourself in some way with an environment that is safe and comforting. It may be your garden, or a public park or space. Surround yourself with people that are good for you and don’t drag you down. Get help from professional people who may well be able to help you. A small amount of progress each day is good enough. There may be days when you feel no progress at all or are going backwards...that is ok. Just remember that another good day may well be around the corner. It’s ok not to feel ok. Better days will come.
Find something to be grateful for each day. Just one thing is enough. Hold on to that all day!
My ramblings may not mean anything to you ... or may mean something. I feel very lucky to be able to share a little piece of my journey, whilst doing something that I love.
So here I am, with no intention of shutting the door again just yet! I have some exciting stock coming in for Autumn. So I will be advertising this through Facebook posts but also through email. I will be sending posts via email to all my shop subscribers. Please do go and add your name and email to the subscriber list.
You will find this at the bottom of the shop page at www.retro-on-sea.co.uk
Thank you for listening and continuing to buy from my little shop.
May the sun be shining for you all in the coming week.